Long Way There
by Mashup
Summary: Why was Strickler so intent on getting rid of Fi? Well, it turns out that what he learned, when he subjected Michael to a psych evaluation, scared the hell out of him. Prequel to episode 3.09 Long Way Back. character study of Michael. Chapter 10 is up. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Tom Strickler had been waiting for this moment for a long time. Any handler who manages to stay alive for as long as he has in the game learns that you cannot invite a spy to work for you without knowing absolutely everything there is to know about said spy.

Michael Westen was the best there was. Everyone knew that. They knew that before he was burned & most espionage associates are smart enough to know that this hasn't changed after his burning. What most people overlook is that a spy without an agency is the most dangerous and ellusive of all spies. Michael Westen was both the best there was and fiercely independent (despite his apparent craving for agency work). He was the espionage equivalent of a unicorn. Put it simply: he was too good to be true.

Strickler intended for Westen to be the crown jewel in his collection of assets. His collection would not be complete without Michael. But he couldn't have Westen calling all the shots. Michael was going to be his asset not the other way around.

All spies are hard to read. It just comes with the job. All spies are very good readers of other spies. That too, comes with the job. As a handler, Strickler could not afford to misread his assets. All bosses have to know their workers well but not many bosses have to worry about being assassinated by their workers.

Michael Westen was extremely difficult to read. He's not the first spy to play nice and appear harmless to hide the fact that he was lethal even on his sick days. There's also no denying that he was darn good at spying -working covers, conducting surveillance, etc...

But he was one of the few spies who had learned to bury himself completely. Michael Westen was not just a spy on the job. Being a spy was his primary identity. He was a spy first and Michael Westen second. This made his poker face absolute.

Being the esteemed handler that he was, Strickler made sure that he learned the last frontier of any potential asset. If this frontier proved impossible to break down and the asset was too good to allow into the hands of a competing handler, Strickler would do his utmost to make sure that the asset would cease to be an asset at all - for anyone.

* * *

><p>Michael wanted to get back in. More than anything else in the world, he wanted his old job back. But he wasn't stupid. He knew that there was a price to be paid. All soldiers wish to work for generals who look after the common good and have no hidden agendas. Michael had been in the business long enough to realise that such a general does not exist.<p>

Although a handler was nothing more than a middle manager, for those in the field, information relayed between handler and asset could make the difference between life and death. And although it was a truism that the mission always came first, very few spies would actually take suicidal risks without a good reason. The relationship between asset and handler then is one of a delicate balance between the handler's desire to complete the mission at all costs and the asset's desire to survive the mission and live to fight another day. After all, you can't go on future missions if you're dead.

Then of course, there is the one thing that colours everything that a country does and it is the one that all spies and agencies hold above the mission itself: politics. Even though Michael understood politics quite well (enough to manipulate cartels into doing his biding), in his professional work, he wanted nothing to do with it. It was for this reason that he always remained a freelancer prior to his burning. He could make his own judgement calls and screw what the big guy said.

Of course Michael knew that Tom Strickler was using him. Everyone thinks that espionage is the act of breaking and keeping secrets. That's a broad enough definition but what spy work was actually all about was the act of exchanging favours. No spy will work for no gain and Strickler being the businessman that he was would see to it that Michael never forgot who was responsible for getting him back into the game.

It is at this junction that the two meet at Tom's house, both knowing that the other cannot really be trusted but both needing the services of the other.

"Is this really necessary?" Michael glared at the heart monitor, he was about to become attached to.

"A psych evaluation will be mandatory when they re-examine your case." Tom replied. "Consider this your dress rehearsal."

"Where are you going?" Michael asked as Tom stood up to leave.

"I'm sorry. I don't really have the patience for this sort of thing." Said Tom. "Dr Foran will be conducting the interview."

"I'm Emily Foran." Said the doctor. "I look forward to sharing our next hour together."

To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm so sick of being the second best thing in Michael's life!"

Fiona to Madeline – Burn Notice Season 2

* * *

><p>Looking around her living room, Fiona Glenanne considered her options. The ticket that Michael had been waiting for was coming his way whether she liked it or not. Considering that at the previous junction of their relationship, he had left her; she wasn't sticking around, waiting to be burned twice.<p>

It had been fun while it lasted. But spies typically don't operate in pairs. In another lifetime maybe they could settle on an occupation where they could work together and not have to skip countries at a minute's notice. In this other life, Fiona could see herself and Michael doing pretty much the same thing as they were doing now but with better pay and none of the baggage that came with Michael's blacklisting.

Would the two of them have met in this other life? If Fiona had been the IRA operative that she was and Michael had never become a spy and instead was operating out of Miami as a licensed PI, would their paths have crossed in the way that it did? It was Michael's globetrotting occupation as a spy that had landed him in Ireland and allowed them to meet in the first place. The same stroke of fate that brought them together was also responsible for tearing them apart when he unexpected "had to" leave her in the middle of the night.

Michael considered his stay in Miami as an extended hiatus. Fiona did not. Though Fi herself was not your typical suburban wife, her core female values were the same. She wanted to spend her life with her male companion. The one man who could summon her to the ends of the earth with one phone call was the same man who did not want her to follow him there.

"Put that thing down!"

Fiona had drawn her gun as she answered an unexpected knock at her door.

"I can see why he likes ya." Said Madeline. Her son had also answered the door with a gun on her before.

"How did you get my address?" Fiona asked flabbergast.

"You're his emergency contact, everyone knows where you live." Madeline rolled her eyes. "Can you believe that? I'm his mother and he puts you down as his emergency contact."

"Is Michael in some sort of trouble?" Fiona asked, unsure of what to make of Madeline's outburst.

"Michael's Michael." Madeline shook her head. "I've learned not to ask him how he is."

"I don't mean to be rude but why are you here Madeline?" Fiona enquired more confused now than she was before. She could see where Michael had gotten his tendency to change topics and offer no explanations from.

"What? My son has to be in grave danger for me to visit his girlfriend?" Madeline replied defensive.

"I'm not. I mean we're not." Fiona tried to explain.

"Ok, Michael's not-girlfriend. Would you mind telling me why you're Spring cleaning in the middle of Summer?" Madeline glared at all the boxes Fiona had stashed across her floor.

"Don't tell Michael." Said Fiona, her eyes showing vulnerability for the first time.

"When were you going to tell me and Sam?" Madeline demanded. "You and Michael might be going through – whatever it is that you're going through; but Sam and I are still your friends. I've had enough of Michael running off without so much as a goodbye. I don't need the same thing from his girlfriend."

Fiona didn't bother to correct Madeline this time. In truth, she and Michael were only not-lovers to each other. In some ways there was a mutual understanding between the couple and their acquaintances. If you wanted to live free of a ticked off spy and IRA operative, you avoid any mentions of their perceived relationship (or lack thereof) while they are within earshot. Unless you happen to be the mother of one and a friend of the other – then spelling out their relationship is considered fair game.

"Madeline. I'm not sure that I am going yet." Fiona admitted.

"So you just felt like boxing all your stuff for the fun of it?" Madeline replied sarcastic.

Fiona didn't reply. Madeline was right at some level. She should at least say goodbye by to her other friends in Miami. She needed to remind herself that there are people whom she loved in Miami besides Michael. Okay with Sam, love was a bit too strong a word. However they had bonded enough that she did not doubt that he would miss her should she disappear from his life.

"Look if you're waiting for him to ask you to stay then you'll have better luck meeting the real Father Christmas." Said Madeline sadly.

"Don't worry Madeline. It's not like that between us. Michael and I. After everything we've been through. He's never once told me that he likes me." Fiona's voice was resigned.

"With Michael, I think I'd be more scared if he does tell you that he likes you." Madeline smiled wryly.

Fiona considered this. Despite his reputation as one of the best professional liars in the business, Michael in his personal life was a hopeless liar. He couldn't tell a straight lie to people he cared about if his life depended on it. With something like a relationship which is at best a dance of deception, Michael chose silence over half-truths and white lies.

"It's just. I'm so sick of his fencing." Fiona blurted out.

"What? Guns aren't enough for you? You're moving on to swords now?" Madeline raised an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean." Fiona shook her head. "He won't commit. But I know that if I stay here, he's not going to leave me alone either."

"You do what you feel is right Fiona." Madeline advised her would-be daughter in law. "But make sure that you're leaving for the right reasons. If you need to be somewhere else right now, by all means go there. But if you're leaving to get away from Michael and whatever problems you two are having, those problems will never go away. Even if you put the Atlantic between you and Michael, your problems will still be there when the two of you see each other again."

"What makes you think we'll see each other again?" Fiona asked Madeline in surprise.

"Because Michael is the way he is. He's incapable of staying away from you." Madeline replied simply.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks for all the reviews guys. I can see from them that most people know where I'm going with this fic. I hope that you will stay with me for the ride/journey even if the destination is more or less a given :)


	3. Chapter 3

Trying to catch a lie from a professional liar is well... kind of redundant. When you pit two professional liars against each other, the odds of any truth arising from the interaction is even more more questionable.

Dr Emily Foran did not lie about herself being a doctor. Only she was not a doctor of medicine. She held a doctorate in Criminology - which meant that she knew how to kill people better than killers do and Michael Westen was a killer. Michael considered spying to be his primary activity and identity. Emily did not.

Once someone has killed, it changes them. It doesn't matter if they killed one person or a million people. Once they complete their first kill, they will always be a killer. No longer an innocent, they did not fall under either legal or moral protection from state or religious entities. They can claim honour to their act but once it's done, it will never go away. They will forever have blood on their hands.

Emily had spent most of her professional life, chasing down killers. Not all kills are equal. Some killers like to torture their prey. Others are rather more quick about it. The first kill is particularly important and indicative of future kills. Is the killer in close proximity to his target? Is he using a gun or his bare hands? What is his relationship with his target? Are they strangers or family?

Emily had many questions for Michael. But the most important question and the one she would not allow him to leave without answering is what he remembers about his first kill.

* * *

><p>Michael watched Emily with caution. One of the benefits of being a freelancer was that the agency couldn't force you to undergo regular psychiatric assessment. He hadn't faced a shrink in years.<p>

A spy can learn a lot about a doctor based on their approach in the opening phases of a session. Are they trying to scare you shitless or are they trying to put you at ease? How guarded is the doctor about his or her own life? Any psychiatrist who has had any sessions with spies knows that you cannot get a spy to open up about himself without you being open with him and betraying a couple of secrets of your own. Most psychiatrists don't get a lot of respect from their lunatic patients. But it's even harder to gain the respect of trained operatives who have seen more or less the same kinds of crazy as you have.

Emily did not immediately begin the session with words. She was watching Michael, just as he was watching her. Michael was very calm. His face was peaceful. He did not give any hint that he was willing to jump up and knock someone out if the situation changed. Emily for her part, kept her face warm but not motherly.

He was good. Most people when faced with awkward silences that they can't get out of will instinctively try to fill it with conversation (about anything and everything). Emily herself did not have to say anything. While it is understood that the interviewer gets to set the agenda, there's no rule that says that she must be the one to start the conversation.

Emily smiled. She was sure that she and Michael could have this battle of silence for several days without either side sweating or breaking eye contact. Unfortunately Strickler did not allow her several days for this assignment.

"Christmas dinners must be thrilling at your place." She laughed.

"I don't find it all that different to any other dinner." Michael shrugged in reply.

"I read your file." She held up a folder that was obviously provided to her by Tom. "Nice read."

At this point the accused is supposed to say something. Usually along the lines of "I didn't do it," (if they're innocent) or "So what?" (if they did do it and want to be flippant about it). The problem with saying something though is that it usually makes no difference to the other person's assessment of your guilt. Whether you deny it or affirm it, they will instinctively have a predetermined assessment based on what they think of your situation - not based on what you actually tell them.

"Nice is such a boring adjective." Said Michael.

"It's a boring file." Emily replied without skipping a beat.

Michael glanced at her in surprise. Her tone of voice made it seem like she meant it. Though doctor-patient relations were very close (in fact often times they were closer than handler-asset relations), Emily seemed to be demonstrating the same detached frame of reference to her work as a psychiatrist as Michael did to his work as a spy.


	4. Chapter 4

Tom Strickler stared at his monitor in disbelief. How on earth did Foran expect to break Westen with silence? What, she was going to stare him into submission?

Michael could see that there was a camera behind Emily. Whether or not he knew that this camera was transmitting a live feed to Strickler's office was anybody's guess. But if he usually altered his behaviour around audio bugs, it made sense that he would definitely alter his behaviour around video recordings.

"Whatever you were looking for, I'm guessing you didn't find it in that file." Michael laughed.

"Files lie. People don't," said Emily.

"People do lie. Just some people are better at it than others," Michael replied. "You for example. You don't ask questions, you make statements and try to gage their accuracy from my reactions. This means that you're more of an interrogator than a therapist."

"You could have gone with the clipboards and the glasses - the whole shebang. You could have really gotten into character but you didn't. Now, it's obvious to me that you're not a psychiatrist but what's interesting to me is that you didn't even try to convince me that you are."

"Damn it." Tom cursed at the monitor.

There were not a lot of people who could con Michael Westen but he was sure that Emily Foran could deliver. He did not doubt her talents since he had been conned by her himself and she proved every bit as cunning as a spy. Why was she allowing Michael to see through her act so quickly?

"Just proving a point," Emily smiled.

"Which is?" asked Michael.

"That people don't lie," she replied. "If you try to feed me bullshit, I will know."

"Is that supposed to make me feel intimidated?" Michael asked softly. "Coz I gotta tell ya, you haven't met my first commander in Afghanistan. Now he was intimidating."

"Was that before or after you shot him?" Emily demanded.

Strickler could see a slight shift in Michael's demeanour. He was still smiling but the smile was no longer mocking. His eyes gained in intensity.

"What are you looking for?" Michael asked Emily, his eyes searching.

"Answers," Emily replied.

"Something tells me this isn't about what you saw in that file," Michael stated quietly.

"No it is not," Emily agreed

"Who are you?" Michael asked.

"A consequence," Emily smiled.

"Do I know you?" Michael didn't like what Emily was implying.

"Nope." Emily shook her head.

"How did you know about Commander Hayes?" asked Michael.

"A man in your line of work doesn't give throw away references to people who are close because you wouldn't want to endanger them," Emily gave her reasoning. "And there's a very high chance that the person in reference is someone that you don't like or someone who's dead. Often times it's both."

"How did you know I shot him?" asked Michael.

"The colleague you mentioned died in a war zone. There are only so many ways you can die in a War zone," Emily explained. "If he was someone that you respected, you wouldn't bring him up so casually  
>in conversation."<p>

"But how did you know it was me?" asked Michael.

"You know. I'm surprised about you," Emily smiled. "You didn't have to give me anything. You're more than capable of passing off any old story but you didn't even try."

Just as Emily could have gotten more into her psychiatrist role but chose not to, Michael could have just ignored her guesses, which were irritatingly accurate, but he chose not to. Strickler shook his head. It's not every day that you come across a spy who won't lie and a con artist who won't con. But he had to admit that Emily's approach was working.

Spies and con artists rely on accurate predictions of human behaviour. When these predictions pan out, they see you as a mark - someone that they can manipulate. When these predictions don't pan out, they see you as an adversary - they become more guarded but they also become more interested in you.

At this point they have to make a choice. Because the flow of information is about prioritising, they have to decide which is more important: protecting what they know or getting what you know. Because of the nature of information exchange, it's hard to get information from the other side without giving some information from your side.

This was the reason why Michael loved working covers. He could spin whatever lie he wanted and give it credibility. When it came to his own life, where lies have real consequences not just for you but for the people you love, he had learned to keep things simpler. In this case, simpler usually meant telling the truth.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This is a continuation of the conversation between Fiona and Madeline that was started in Chapter 2. Sorry there are no indications of location in text. It can be assumed that they are still in Fiona's house as per the setting from Chapter 2.

* * *

><p>"How did you do it?" Fiona asked Madeline.<p>

"What are you referring to?" said Madeline.

"When he was away, did you ever think that he might not come back?" asked Fiona.

"Oh my thoughts were much worse than that." Madeline replied bitterly.

"What?" Fiona glanced at Madeline in surprise.

"Are you sure you want to hear about it, Fi?" Madeline asked reluctant. "Coz it's ugly. If Michael getting his old job back is stressing you, you probably don't want to hear it."

Madeline rarely showed restraint when it came to talking about her life. If the topic was painful, she would choose to only recount the bright side but she wouldn't avoid talking about it altogether. In fact Michael's seemingly relentless optimism actually came from Madeline. The fact that he'd always approach problems with "It's going to be alright," was what his mother always told him when things got crazy at home.

"It's okay," said Fiona. "I think I can understand it. I'll never understand it fully because I'm not a mother but I do love him."

"Oh trust me, you've got it worse," Madeline smiled. "You're his lover. Caring for an absent son is not nearly as awful as caring for an absent boyfriend,"

"So what were you worried about asides from Michael getting shot?" asked Fiona.

"With Michael, what's not to worry about?" Madeline rolled her eyes. "He never told me what he did of course. But I knew that he'd been in the army. The few times he did call me, every time he called he was in a different country. Somebody must have been funding his trips coz we certainly didn't have that kind of money at home."

"But you knew that his work was dangerous," Fiona guessed.

"Well his assignments never took him to Canada. He was always in countries with active conflicts," said Madeline.

"And you were scared that he'd get kidnapped or something," Fiona asked.

"You know, I wasn't scared that something would happen to him so much as I was scared that I would never find out what it was," Madeline admitted. "If you've ever seen those lists that they put together after a big fight. The family of the ones listed as 'missing in action' have it much worse than the family of the ones who 'died in combat'."

"Michael's never been forthcoming about his situation," Fiona agreed. "Especially when he's in trouble. He'll tell you any old story to get you to stop asking."

Madeline laughed, "What did he not tell you that you're so bitter about?"

"Just before he left Ireland, he was in trouble. If he'd just come clean and talked to me about it, I could have helped him." said Fiona.

"Have you ever seen Michael take a beating?" Madeline asked Fiona.

"I've knocked him around myself quite a bit. But that's coz he lets me," said Fiona.

"I have," Madeline replied. "Before he started running around with a gun in his pocket, he's had his fair share of beatings. He'd come home with a black eye and he'd refuse to talk about it. Do you know when was the first time he fought back?"

"When?" asked Fiona.

"When he saw me watching," Madeline replied. "Some kids had cornered he and Nate at the back of our street and he was defending his brother by taking a beating for him."

"That's horrible," said Fiona flabbergast.

"Can't blame him of course, it was what he knew from all the beatings he'd been given by my dreadful husband." Madeline's face scowled at the memory. "But when the kids started hurling verbal abuse at me, he fought back. He didn't have any of the moves he's got now. He was biting and kicking the boys where it hurts."

"Good on him," Fiona interjected.

Madeline continued, "He pushed one of the boys hard and he landed on his back at a weird angle. He had somehow managed to paralyse the boy."

"That boy deserved it," said Fiona.

"You know what I did?" Madeline asked, disbelief filling her voice.

"What?" said Fiona.

"I made him apologise to the boy. He was standing up for himself and he'd just taken a beating for his brother. I had to tell him to apologise to his tormentors." Madeline shook her head.

"What happened to the boy he paralysed?" asked Fiona.

"He recovered eventually. He was able to walk again with physio. His spine was fractured, not broken," Madeline replied. "But I felt awful about it. I mean as a mother, it's not like it's a great thing to be told that your son's spine's been fractured so I wouldn't have wanted to be that boy's mother."

"She should have been the one to get her son to apologise to Michael and Nate," Fiona interjected.

"But it's also not great to have to tell off a good boy for doing something that a bad boy had been doing all the time and getting away with it," said Madeline.

"Did he see that you were conflicted?" Fiona asked.

"Probably," Madeline replied, dismissive. "I think that's why he always tells me 'it's better you don't know' when I ask him what kind of trouble he's in now."

"You did the right thing Madeline," said Fiona. "If he paralysed someone, he should say sorry for it."

"Yeah, that's what I keep telling myself." Madeline replied.

Madeline had no doubt that the incident had a detrimental effect on Michael. Though he was quite young, he understood the effect that the incident had on his mother. He made sure that no one he loved should have to face a similar dilemma in the future. He would not allow his actions to hurt the people he loves by association. Ever.


	6. Chapter 6

Dr Emily Foran stared at the display on Michael Westen's heart monitor with disbelief. Michael's resting pulse was sixty beats per minute. It was right on the border between a normal pulse and bradycardia. She had heard of training causing athletes and soldiers to function slightly differently physiologically but she had not come across a person who could control his body so completely, including his heart.

"How are you doing it?" she asked him.

"Doing what?" Michael glanced at her in surprise.

"You're just a few beats shy of passing out," she replied.

"You know the first thing they teach you in martial arts training isn't how to fight. It's how to meditate." Michael laughed.

"This is a game to you," Emily glared at him.

"Well it's not the first time I've been interrogated," Michael laughed. "What I'm trying to figure out is why you're doing this."

"Don't forget. The exercise hasn't changed. I'm still assessing you." Emily reminded him.

"No you're not. Tom is." As he says this, Michael looked straight into the camera behind Emily, causing Tom to almost spill coffee onto his computer. "I know why Tom is doing this. He's in it for professional reasons. But your reasons seem to be more personal."

Emily did not reply immediately. Michael took the silence for what it was. People underestimate the power of silence in verbal jousting. Normally silence is considered a sign of weakness or of defeat. A spy knows better than to see silence as a breather because if your adversary is anything like you, she's not going to be defensive and trying to make up excuses for why she does what she does. She's going to be on the offensive and she's going to ask you equally hard hitting questions as to why you do what you do.

"You kill people for a living and I catch killers for a living. We do what we do because we have to." Emily stated quietly.

"You don't have to do anything," said Michael. "Whatever Strickler has on you..."

"Strickler doesn't have anything on me," Emily replied, "I wanted this assignment."

"You make it a habit of interrogating people you don't know?" Michael asked, annoyed.

"You make it a habit of killing people you don't know?" Emily shot back.

If there was one thing that Michael was not, it was a mercenary. He never killed anyone he did not know. A spy's task is always infiltration first so that whatever the end objective of the mission might be, you always start by getting close to your target.

Of all professional killers, be it soldiers or assassins, spies had the most difficult task of all. A soldier will shoot at an enemy from a distance and often have no personal connection to his target at all. An assassin will monitor his target in a similar way to spies but he would always stay in the shadows. The only time an assassin makes contact with his target is when he's ready to kill him. Only a spy will come to know his target as more than just a target by the time he has to kill him. It makes the act all the more damaging on the person doing the killing.

"Let me ask you a simple question," said Michael. "Have you ever killed someone?"

"No but I've seen more autopsy reports than anyone needs to in their lifetime," Emily replied.

"So you're an academic," said Michael. "You see the aftermath and you think you know how it's done."

"You don't," Emily shook her head and then looked him in the eye. "You never see the aftermath. There is just the mission. Then you pack up and you move on and you don't think about all the lives you have ruined. Friends and family of the target. People who depended on that person for their existence. You don't think about any of them."

"You were a dependant," Michael guessed.

"This interview is not about me," Emily replied.

"It is for me," said Michael.

"So what? You're gonna get to know me and then you're gonna try to save me?" Emily laughed. "I heard about your messiah complex."

"You took this assignment because you wanted answers," said Michael. "I can't give them to you when I don't even know what the question is."

"I want to profile you." Emily smiled. "Like I told you, I catch killers. I've profiled serial killers before as well. You can't be worse than they are, can you?"

Michael returned the smile but his eyes were reluctant. Emily might be an expert in death with an acute understanding of victim relations but she had a very detached understanding of criminal psychology. Since criminology was as much about the "criminal" as it was about the victim, it was interesting that Emily considered herself a criminal expert.

"You're searching for something," said Michael. "I don't know what but I can see that you're looking for answers. I can help you to find what you're looking for but not like this. And not with that camera on."

Tom Strickler stared at his monitor with foreboding. He was sure that Foran would give in to Weston's demands.


	7. Chapter 7

Tom Strickler was surprised to see Emily Foran show up at the Fox Diner. Given what had happened during the day, he didn't expect her to show up. He could have just paid someone to sit there of course but if Emily saw anyone but Tom there when she came looking, she might decide to bury the truth about what happened and he couldn't have her do that.

"I'll be honest Em, I didn't expect you to come here tonight." Tom greeted his associate.

"Yet you waited for me anyway. I should be flattered." Emily replied.

"So what did you get out of him?" Tom asked.

"Nothing that wasn't already recorded on camera," said Emily. "I've got a date and a place. That's it."

"So you arranged a meet with him," Tom laughed. "You're good. I'll give you that."

"What are you talking about?" said Emily.

"You let him play you in there so that you could play me." Tom's smile grew wider. "I'll admit I didn't see that one coming."

Emily frowned. "We're meeting so that I can profile him. Isn't that what you wanted?"

In the field, when you work with a partner or in a team, you have to maintain open lines of communication at all times. It makes it easier for you to call in backup if you get into trouble but it also makes it harder for you to make your own play, knowing that your every move is being watched just as your target is being watched.

The camera that Tom had set up for Michael's "interview" wasn't just there to for Tom to read Michael's face; it was also Tom's line of communication with Emily. When the camera was switched off, it allowed Emily to change the operation without Tom's knowledge.

"If you were trying to profile him, you would have done that already." Tom shook his head. "You wanted a private meeting with him. Now if I didn't know any better, I'd think that you were trying to hire him for something."

"What? And become a client of his?" Emily shot back. "I'd shoot him before I worked with him."

"Even if you got close enough to him to pull a gun, you'll be out cold before you can pull the trigger." Tom gave his assessment of her odds.

"I wasn't planning on using a gun," said Emily.

"So you are going to try to kill him then." Tom stared at Emily, his eyes showing fear for the first time.

"You really want him that much?" Emily demanded. "How many jobs have I done for you? And now the one time that I need something done, you won't back me up on it."

"That depends," Tom chose his words carefully. "You haven't given me a good enough reason to want him dead more than I want him alive."

"You really want to work with him," Emily smiled.

"Of course I do. I wouldn't have approached him and then tried to woo him for the past month if I didn't want to work with him." said Tom.

"So you would be willing to work with someone who used a ten year old child to get to her family?" Emily demanded. "You would work with someone who got a person orphaned and then tried to have her thank him for it?" Emily's confession took Tom Strickler by surprise.

He'd known her backstory of course. He didn't have people running errands for him who had skeletons he didn't know about. It just turns out that he didn't know the whole story. He had known that her father was a diplomat stationed in Europe. And that he had been betrayed by his own daughter. He just didn't know that the middle man was Michael Westen.

"That was Westen?" Tom smiled to mask his surprise.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me." Emily replied, fuming.

"No, I'm not doubting you," Tom tried to explain. "It's just that Michael Westen has done a lot of things but I've never heard of him using children to achieve his objective."

"That doesn't change the fact that he destroyed my life." Emily stood her ground.

This revelation did answer one of the nagging questions that Strickler had had since Foran began to work for him: How does a woman with a promising career in catching criminals wind up a professional con artist herself?

When she came to him, a fresh graduate with absolutely no real experience in espionage, he thought that she was nuts. In the three years since, she had leant her expertise in a number of his operations and proven a worthy operative to have around.

It turns out that she had been waiting for this "chance encounter" with Michael Westen all along. Knowing how connected Strickler was in the intelligence community, she was sure that Westen was bound to show up on his radar at some point. It was the longest con that anybody had ever played on him. Yet somehow he wasn't angry about it.

"If Michael did do what you said that he did. Then it won't be enough for you to just kill him." said Strickler.

"What do you suggest then?" asked Emily.

When a worker deviates from their work, any manager will know that there are basically two ways that you can motivate them to get back on track. You can threaten them, which in the case of Emily wouldn't work because she's already had everything taken from her as a young child, or you can promise them a reward.

In Tom's case, he had to make sure that a reward where Michael is kept alive sounds more appealing than a reward where he is eliminated.

"Killing him gives him a way out," Tom tried to explain. "If you want to get back at him, you have to make him feel what you felt for all these years. He took away your world, you have to take away his."

"How do I do that without killing him?" said Emily.

"Just do what you were supposed to do in the beginning. Profile him. Find out who are the people that make up his world and I can make some arrangements to make sure that they get eliminated."

"You already know who his friends and family are," said Emily. "Why do you need me to profile him?"

"Not all friends and family are equal, Em," Tom shook his head. "I've got an uncle and a cousin in DC but if someone tried to get to me through them, they'd be wasting their time. I hate 'em."

"Fine we'll do it your way." Laura begrudgingly agreed. "But you have to promise me something."

"Go on," said Tom.

"When you take away his world, make sure that he sees it with his own eyes." Emily tried to negotiate her terms. "He should learn what it feels like to be a witness."


	8. Chapter 8

Sam Ax was having dinner with Ms Reynolds at La Premier when his cell phone went off. One of the occupational hazards of being an associate of Michael Westen's is that even though he normally doesn't say much nor does he call you much, when he does call, you can be pretty damn sure that he's in some serious trouble. Sam has had to drop everything and head for the other side of town with minimal notice on more than one occasion.

"Hey Mikey, this isn't the best time." Sam starts the call in the same way as he always does when he's with a lady friend.

Michael did what he usually does when Sam answers the phone in this way: get straight to the point and completely ignore the timing of it.

"Sam I need you to get your contacts to run down a name: Emily Foran. Foxtrot Oscar Romeo Alpha November." Michael instructed quickly.

"Who is she?" Sam asked.

"I'm not sure that you'll find much on her. I think she might be using an alias." said Michael.

"You didn't answer my question," Sam replied. "Who is she?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out, Sam." Michael sighed in reply.

"Well, how did you come across her?" Sam enquired.

"You probably don't wanna know," Michael replied.

"I don't like the sound of that Mikey," said Sam, getting worried.

"Just try to find out as much as you can about this name. And don't tell anyone; including Fiona." Michael instructed before hanging up, "I gotta go now."

As is usually the case with communication between close friends, what's not said is just as informative as what was. Sam could tell that Michael had a suspicion about this Emily Foran and was trying to get Sam to confirm it with intel from his contacts. The fact that Michael did not want anyone else to know meant that it was not for a job but was rather something more personal.

Sam's expression must have been pretty melancholic because Ms Reynolds proceeded to ask him "Is everything okay?" after a moment of silence.

* * *

><p>"Michael, you should talk to Fiona," Madeline demanded over the phone.<p>

"Mom, I've got something going on at the moment." Michael tried to explain.

"That's just not good enough." Madeline retorted. "She's sick of you taking her for granted. And quite frankly, so am I."

"What are you talking about mom?" Michael was taken aback. "Where is this coming from?"

"You need to sort out your priorities." Madeline murmured angrily. "You had a good thing going with her. Don't waste it."

"You spoke with her," Michael deduced.

"No I didn't." Madeline replied defensive.

"Even over the phone you're terrible at lying," Michael replied. "What did she tell you?"

"She didn't tell me anything." Madeline continued to lie because Fiona had made her promise not to tell Michael that she was leaving town. Fiona needed to be the one to tell him herself. "But she was upset. And I had to console her."

"Mom, whatever it is, I'll make it up to her." Michael tried to say.

"No you won't. You can't make it up to her. Not this time," Madeline replied. "You know what I ended up doing? I ended up recounting that fight you and Nate had with Remy Bates of all things. I don't even know why I did that."

The fight in question had been a painful memory for all three Westens involved. It wasn't something that they would normally bring up in conversation under any circumstances.

"Mom hang up," Michael instructed.

"What? Don't tell me what to do." Madeline replied indignant.

"I'm going to call Fi. But I can't do that when you're on the line." Michael explained.

Madeline didn't need telling twice. She hung up without another word.

"This is Fi, leave a message."

* * *

><p>On any other night, Fiona would have given the world for a late night non-work related chat with her favourite ex-spy. But not tonight. Not when she was this close to leaving Miami.<p>

Anyone who's ever been at a crossroads will know that the closer you are to the decision becoming a reality, the easier it will be for you to change your mind and back out at the last minute. Fiona could see Michael's caller ID. She switched her ringtone to mute so that she wouldn't have to look at it.

* * *

><p>"Michael tell me what's going on here."<p>

Michael was surprised to hear from Sam again so soon. It had only been thirty minutes since Michael's original call interrupted his dinner.

"Did you find anything?" asked Michael.

"No I didn't," said Sam. "And I'm not going to until you tell me what's going on."

"Sam, I don't know what's going on. I'm being honest. If I had more information, I'd tell you." Michael replied patiently.

"How about you start by telling me why you want me to look up the name you gave me," said Sam.

"I have a meeting with her tomorrow," Michael explained. "I need to do my homework and at least try to find out more about her before four pm tomorrow afternoon."

"Where are you meeting her?" asked Sam.

"She's coming to the loft," Michael informed him.

"What? You don't even know who she is and you invited her to your home?" Sam exclaimed.

"Thing is, I'm not sure that that's true. I think I do know her. I just can't remember where I know her from."


	9. Chapter 9

Sam and Fiona should have known better. They had both received a text message from Michael to meet him at the Carlito. Two things should have raised their suspicions. First, Michael doesn't usually send texts to arrange meets, because being the spy that he was, he considered texts to be free intelligence for whoever might flick through the phone who was not its owner. Second, Michael being the minimalist that he was, doesn't usually give much context for anything, saving that he'll "explain on the way" if you ask why he wants you to do something.

But when the text came through: "Found a lead on Strickler. Need to discuss. Meet at the Carlito in one hour," neither Fiona nor Sam were in the mood to question it before the meeting. Fiona was preoccupied with her move and Sam was preoccupied with the complete lack of intel that his contacts could find on Emily Foran.

"Can you believe him?" said Fiona, fuming. "A text message. Michael's getting sloppier by the minute. What happened to the cool spy who's always in control?"

"He's got something going on at the moment," Sam replied.

"Yeah? Like what? Strickler?" Fiona retorted.

Sam didn't respond because Michael had made him promise not to tell Fiona about Foran.

"He's running around doing errands for a weaselly leech just so he can go back and work for an organisation that left him out to dry." Fiona summed up her take on Michael's path which she obviously did not approve.

"Ouch. That's a bit harsh." Tom said as he headed over to their table.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked without looking at him.

"You sent those texts," said Fiona.

"I did." Tom nodded.

"Where's Michael?" Fiona asked.

"What do you want?" Sam asked at the same time.

Tom Strickler smiled. Neither of Michael's closest friends were that keen on meeting with him. He liked this about them. The loyalty that they displayed toward Michael would make them indispensable in future operations. He needed Michael and Michael needed them. So by proxy, they became very important to Tom Strickler. He didn't really want to kill either of them. But a promise is a promise. Maybe he could convince Emily that there was another way to "eliminate them" without killing them.

"Don't you want to know what Michael's doing right now?" Tom asked.

"Not really," said Sam.

Sam's reply came too quickly. Which meant that he had a fair idea of what Michael was up to.

"What about you, Fiona?" Tom turned to Fi. "Don't you wanna know what Michael's up to?"

Fiona could see that Strickler was trying to bait her though she couldn't be sure why. And anyway, she was too angry with Michael at the moment to show concern for him. She was always better at expressing anger than tenderness.

"He never wants to know what Sam and I are up to." She shrugged.

"What if I told you I know that he's going to be in imminent danger?" Tom continued to bait them.

"Considering that Michael is usually in imminent danger ninety percent of the time, we wouldn't even need to call you out on your bluff because it would very likely be true." Fiona replied.

"If you do send someone after Michael, can you at least make sure that they're not Ukrainian this time?" said Sam.

"If you're talking about Chechik, you should know that I didn't send him after Michael. I was the one who warned Michael about him." Tom shook his head.

"Michael also conveniently led you to Beck, who made the arrangements that you needed to be made." Sam reminded him.

"You're good Sam," Tom smiled, "I like that about you. You say it how you see it."

"What do you want from us, Strickler?" Fiona asked her voice tired.

They both looked so serious (and tired) that Tom had to laugh. "Come on guys. I'm not asking you to do anything you wouldn't normally do. Michael's going to be in a bit of trouble. All I'm asking is for you to save him."

"Okay I'll bite," said Sam, "What do you know about Emily Foran?"

"Who?" Fiona asked in surprise.

"So you know about Foran?" Tom smiled.

"Michael's got a meeting with her and you come here telling us about that Michael's in some sort of imminent danger." Sam shrugged. "Wasn't that hard to guess."

"And you didn't know about it." Tom noted the surprise on Fiona's face.

"Michael operates on a need to know basis. I guess I didn't need to know." Fiona replied.

Sam could see that Fiona was still pissed at Michael. Exactly what about was anybody's guess since more often than not Fiona was usually angry with Michael about something.

Tom could see that Michael had intentionally kept his meeting with Emily from Fiona because he was trying to protect her. But he was not seeing the same kind of protective stance from Fiona.

It could be that he just didn't know Fiona well enough. At least not compared with how much he knew about Michael but he could see their respective styles.

Michael's default position was passive protective, which meant that he would do everything he could to save you without your knowledge. Fiona's default position was aggressive protective, which meant that when she wanted to save you, she was very in your face about it. The fact that Fiona was able to sit there as calm as can be discussing Michael in his absence meant that she was controlling the aggressive aspect of aggressive protective quite well.

Tom Strickler could see that Fiona was beginning to let go of Michael but Michael was not letting go of Fiona. It was very subtle. Sam was aware of it but he was too close to it to see just how serious it was. Coming in as an outsider, Tom could see it more quickly than Sam and he could also see the full extent of it.

When a spy has competing priorities that cannot be completed without the one compromising the other, he will choose one and disregard the other completely so as not to compromise both. This is what is normally expected of a spy. Unfortunately, Michael rarely did what is normally expected of a spy. If Fiona were to actually become a "distraction", the last thing that Michael would do would be to disregard her. This changed Fiona's status from very important by proxy to very dangerous by proxy.

The Ironic part is that if Fi and Michael had been a happy couple then Tom would not have cared about their relationship. If they had had a clean break and both sides had moved on, again Tom wouldn't have wanted to know. It was because they were in the grey area between happy bliss and amiable split that made Fiona especially dangerous to Michael's healthy functioning as a spy and therefore to Tom's plans for Michael.

* * *

><p>AN: Once again, thanks to everyone who has been reading and/or reviewing this story and hanging in there with me. Because I am a spontaneous writer who doesn't normally plan or plot in advance, I've had to construct the story retrospectively, going on what was written before. I appreciate some of the suggestions that you guys give. It helps me to make the story better.

We are on the home stretch. Next chapter should be the last one or if the text gets too long, I might split it into two chapters. But basically the story should be finishing quite soon.


	10. Chapter 10

Emily Foran found herself climbing the stairs to Michael Westen's loft. It was the culmination of three years' work and a craving that has lasted much longer than that.

"It's open." Michael called out to her before she could knock on the door.

She pushed the door open and was surprised by the minimal furniture that Michael had. Because Michael was usually impeccably dressed for his jobs, she had assumed that his home would also be well presented.

"Afternoon Emily," Michael greeted her pleasantly. "Or should I call you Lauren."

"You remembered," Lauren Scone smiled.

"Yes. I had a look into you." Michael nodded. "It turns out that around three and a half years ago, records for Emily Foran disappear altogether."

"And you immediately thought of me." Lauren laughed.

"Lauren, what are you doing?" Michael sighed. "Working with Strickler. Wasting three years of your life to track me down. This isn't what your parents would have wanted."

"Don't you dare talk about my parents." Lauren shouted.

"Mike, are you in there?" Sam asked as he approached the door to the loft. "Strickler said you were in trouble."

"Sam. Leave. This doesn't concern you." said Michael as Sam came inside.

"Who is she?" Sam asked, looking at Lauren.

"This is Lauren Scone. Strickler knows her as Emily Foran." Michael replied.

"This is Emily?" said Fiona coming in behind Sam.

"Tom sent you." Lauren glanced at Sam. Then she turned to Michael. "He really does like you."

"Michael, what is going on in here?" Asked Fiona.

"He shot my parents." Lauren accused.

"There must be some kind of mistake. Michael would never do that." Sam said, defensive.

"I did kill them, Sam." Michael admitted.

"When did this happen, Michael?" Sam asked.

Michael didn't answer him directly but turned to Scone instead. "Lauren, I'm not sure what you want to hear from me. What I was able to say, I already said when we were in Bosnia."

"You didn't say anything. You just told me to hide. Then you shot them." Lauren protested.

"You weren't supposed to see that." Michael said, quietly.

"So it's alright for you to kill them then. As long as I don't see it." Lauren spat in reply.

"Michael what is she talking about?" Fiona asked.

"She was only a child so I got her to hide in a cupboard. I didn't expect her to come back out. She saw the whole thing and I had to knock her unconscious so she wouldn't scream. Then I hid her back into the cupboard where she was meant to be hiding." Michael recounted.

"You skipped the part where you explain why you had to kill her parents," said Sam.

"They would have been captured by the Russian secret service and most likely tortured to death." Michael explained.

"You bastard. We were going to evacuate with everyone else. You made us stay back and we became sitting ducks. If I wasn't a child, you would have shot me too. Now you're calling it a mercy kill." Lauren shouted and had to be held back by Fiona to keep her from punching Michael in the face (or worse).

"If you had evacuated, you would have gone out into a war zone. All the civilian planes had been grounded and they were searching vehicles on all the main roads." Michael replied. "Short of England sending in a military plane, there was no way to safely get you guys out of the country and I couldn't protect you out on the streets."

"My parents trusted you and now they're both dead." Lauren shouted. "I helped you to convince them to stay back. Now I have to live with that for the rest of my life, knowing that I contributed to their deaths."

"What happened after you shot her parents?" Fiona asked.

"I was captured." Michael replied, simply.

"Mike, that's never happened before." said Sam. "You always protect your asset. And if they get captured, you go with them and then you try to free them from the inside. What did her parents know that was so important you couldn't risk them getting captured?"

"Her father had an endemic memory. Before computers became common place, you either lug around a huge filing cabinet everywhere you went or you store your intel inside another person. Her father had a lot of intelligence that would have been damaging to the US if they were ever leaked." Michael explained.

"So that was part of your mission. If you couldn't protect him, you were to kill him." Fiona said, horrified.

"Yes." Michael nodded, avoiding her eyes.

Lauren had heard what she came to hear and felt a strong pull to do something highly illegal. Fiona meanwhile was overcome with her own grievances and she stopped holding onto Lauren.

"So you want to get back in with them to do this kind of work? You really want to be part of something like that?" Fiona shouted.

"You don't want to do that Emily," Sam cautioned as Lauren held out a pocket knife, standing over Michael.

"If you really think that stabbing me will help you to heal then by all means, go ahead. I won't stop you." said Michael, unfazed by the weapon.

"Emily, I know how you feel right now. I'd like to strangle him myself. But it's really not worth it." Said Fiona.

"Yeah, you'll get blood everywhere and it'll be extremely messy to clean up. Plus you've got two witnesses and you really don't want to go down for three homicides." Sam chimed in.

"Lauren, what you're feeling right now, I want you to remember it." Michael advised.

"You don't know what I'm feeling." Lauren replied.

"You seem to think that it's really easy to kill. Until you're actually standing here in front of me with a knife, you didn't have any second thoughts. And if you did, you just ignored them." Michael explained. "But now that it looks like you might actually have a chance to commit that act, every doubt that you've ever had is running through your head and making you dizzy. I've certainly killed more people than you have and I still get that every time."

"That's just adrenaline," Lauren countered.

"Keep telling yourself that," said Michael.

Lauren gave Michael a look of pure hatred before dropping the knife onto the floor with a clank. Then she promptly collapsed into Fiona's shoulders and started sobbing.

"What?" Fiona glanced at Michael, not knowing what to do. Calming someone who's crying was not a strength of hers.

"She's relieved. Coming here was a cathartic experience for her." said Michael.

"Michael, next time you have the descendent of a deceased asset come over to kill you in revenge, you might want to mention that to your friends." Sam said as he picked up Lauren's knife and placed it on Michael's workbench.

"She wasn't really going to kill me, Sam." Michael replied.

"How do you know?" Lauren shouted from Fiona's shoulder.

"Because that's just not how you kill people." Michael laughed. "Killing is not exciting. It's not like a sport where you have to get yourself worked up for it."

Michael picked up a small packet of tissues from his bench and handed them to Fiona who gave them to Lauren.

"If you had come here with a cold calculating calm then I would fear for my life." Michael continued. "In the state that you're currently in, you're more likely to accidentally stab yourself than you would be to stab me in the right place to make me bleed out."

"I could stab you in the right place if you want," said Fiona.

"Are you two a..." Lauren glanced from Fiona to Michael.

"Don't call it a thing." Sam advised. "They don't like it when you call it that."

"Lauren, I wasn't joking when I said that you shouldn't be working for Strickler." Michael said more seriously.

"This coming from the man who's been working with him himself." Lauren shot back.

"I don't have a choice. You do. You can walk away from this. Espionage and assassination isn't for everyone." Michael advised. "One day your job is going to get you killed, that's pretty much a given. You don't need that."

"Your alias is a doctor. Are you really a doctor?" Sam asked.

"Yes. I really do have a doctorate in Criminology. I wanted to be a cop." Lauren replied.

"What changed your mind?" Michael asked.

"The legal side of it. Law and Criminology really don't go well together." Emily observed.

"Yeah but you're not on the legal side of it. You just catch the bad guys. The courts deal with the legal side of it." said Michael.

"I just don't want to spend nine months catching a guy if his lawyer is just going to get him out again. That's not how I want to work." Lauren replied.

"You'll figure out a path." Said Michael.

"I'm not going to stop working for Strickler." Lauren announces. "Most of his associates are pretty shady. But it's a useful network to have. I was thinking that if he ever takes a vacation, I could step in and run some projects of my own."

End


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